Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A Snowy Easter

Woke up early (for us!) on Easter Sunday to the interesting sight of a fair bit of snow. Needless to say, someone was delighted :-)

We played out in the snow for a couple of hours before breakfast (!) and the little kibbies had their first ever experience of the cold white stuff. Bigger kit kats Romeo and Juliet were distinctly unimpressed, and veteran Cassie Cat was nowhere to be seen, but the babies loved the stuff! Here follows an absolute over abundance of photos - although it's not very easy photographing black cats against white snow. They came out mostly as fuzzy black blobs.

We did have a nice time out in the snow.....but I have to admit that I had a few pangs of upset because Emily had nobody (well, no other child) to play with in it. She's still adamant that she doesn't want a sibling (just as well) but it's a shame we don't have friends in the same street or something. Playing with me and Daddy or by herself is all very well and good most of the time, but when it comes to snow (or beaches, come to that), it's not the same and no amount of pretending can say that it is. Life's never simple, is it?

Anyway, back in from the snow, it was time for Easter Phase II, which was to make our Easter Cake - this year Emily and I made a scrummy White Chocolate Strawberry Dream Cake which was time consuming, but worth it. Once that was safely out of the oven and cooling, it was time for Easter Phase III - the treasure hunt. Emily usually gets a couple of presents at Easter - originally it was because with a birthday on the 2nd January, it's an awfully long time to wait from birthday until Christmas, but nowadays it's just a tradition we like following. I'd made 20 clue cards, each one of which had a little poem giving the clue to the next location.Emily happily ran about for half an hour or so following all the clues, including out in the snow in her little black party dress, lol, she must have been freezing!! Oh, and black lipstick. Of course. She eventually found her pressies on our bed and was a very happy Easter bunny indeed.

Much playing followed, plus Easter Phase IV, otherwise known as decorating the cake, and then Easter Phase V, big family tea kindly cooked by Nana and Gramps, plus Easter Phase VI, family games evening, which was several hours of charades and "coffee pot", much enjoyed by all.

Easter Monday was an extremely later get-up, followed rapidly by me being stressed all day. We went out at half past three to Jacki and George's for tea, plus George did Reiki I initiations for me and for Emily, and then we stayed until gone 11 at the psychic circle, so that was a long day. Very lovely, but stressful for me since I was in a "don't want to see anybody" mood again. Sigh.

Today I've been in a rotten mood all day because I knew I was going to have to help in Emily's yoga lesson. Didn't get up until half past ten because I just couldn't face the day. Lost my temper at several points during the day and otherwise displayed crap mothering skills. We did attempt to get back to work this afternoon, but that, ahem, didn't go according to plan either. No doubt that was my fault, really, as I wasn't exactly in the frame of mind to make maths and spelling much fun for poor Emily.

It's horrible in my head. I know I'm being unfair on those around me, but I'm sooooo sick of having to do things I don't want to do, whether it's writing horoscopes, ferrying Grandad around in return for a mouthful of abuse, helping in a yoga lesson or going out to socialise when I really, really don't feel like it. I think it's probably because I'm such a meek and mild person in public that I find it really hard to say no or to stand up for my right to NOT feel like doing something. I often feel used and taken advantage of - whether I *am* being used or not is irrelevant, so long as it feels that way. Then I get angry with myself because I know it's my own fault for not saying no, which makes it even worse. I guess I'm being selfish, but there's something much worse going on than that. It's not only that I don't want to see people, I just find it so......nauseatingly difficult. I shall have to see what I can do to improve my state of mind before I successfully drag everyone else down with me. Basically, I've got to the point where I just wish the rest of the world would go away. I'd be more than happy if it was just me, Emily and Jon. It's presumably not normal to *constantly* feel that way to this extent, so.....hello abnormality!


Linda @ The Briar Patch said...

Love your snowy photos (and the cats, lol!)

Sorry that you are not feeling so good right now. I get like that some times too, not as often as I used to thank goodness but enough to make me wonder why...


Hannah said...

Lucky you having all that snow!
The Easter cake looks delicious. We have an egg hunt tradition with rhyming clues in our house too, although not as well organised as yours!
I hope you are feeling better soon :o)

Nikki said...

Thank you, Linda and Hannah, for your kind words.