Today; well - no kittens yet. Got an update this morning from the RSPCA, who say that the kittens are still not entirely happy eating solids, and they need to keep them in until they're sure there won't be any problems. But they're much improved, and we're still promised to be the first to know when they're ready to go. Guess it's looking like the end of this week or even the beginning of next at this rate. Ho hum. They say patience is a virtue, don't they?
This morning Emily impressed us both by making a big cat mask completely unaided, right from the finding the instructions in a craft book through gathering the materials, all they way through. The only thing she needed help with was tying the elastic right at the end. It's a lovely ginger cat, complete with tissue paper stripes of shades or orange, yellow and brown.
Things had been a bit up in the air whilst we waited to hear whether today was K-Day or not, and I think Emily was rather disappointed that today wasn't the day (although probably not as disappointed as I was, lol). She cheered up this afternoon though getting very messy in the garden doing this: Kitchen Roll Dyeing. We forgot the "wear rubber gloves" bit, so hands are an interesting colour even as I type! The one thing they don't mention, though, is that it uses a LOT of food colouring. Guess who's all out of every colour now?
Some pics:
This rather handsome cardinal beetle kept us company out there while Jon was up to his neck in more orders and booking tickets for Emily for Thursday for a Charlie & Choc Factory event at our local library, as well as sorting out a digital camera for Grandad.
Although Emily's been having a lot of fun recently, it's been a worrying couple of days with regard to her self-esteem :-(( Last night out of the blue she was in tears wondering whether her best friend still likes her - no particular reason, as far as I could see, except that Emily apparently felt she wasn't "interesting" enough and that her friend must be bored of her. Okkkaay. A pep talk about how friends love you for just how you are and are always keen to enjoy your company seemed to put that to rest for the moment, but we can't really tell whether that fear has gone or just temporarily been banished. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that both of the close friends she had pre-HE moved away, both times leaving Emily very insecure and isolated. It took a lot of explaining at the time that it was the parents' circumstances that meant they had to move, not anything she had done wrong. She does tend to form very deep attachments; I think she's frightened that she may lose this friend too :-((
Concerned that Emily doesn't know all that many other children at the moment, we'd been talking about a range of clubs, groups etc she could join. The other day, though, she had a bit of a meltdown about starting a new club. More tears, with Emily explaining that she didn't want to go because she didn't know if anyone would like her and that besides she's "got enough friends". Breaks your heart. She's such a loving, giving child, but that 12 months of school totally destroyed her confidence. I thought we'd made big steps in getting it back during this year of HE, but clearly there's still a way to go. The "socialisation" she endured at school seems to have given her a deep mistrust of most other children.
Mind you, it's made us question why we wanted her to attend these acitivities in the first place - supposedly for socialisation, since she's not desperate to actually DO any of the activities. If Emily's personality is going to be a bit like mine - I went from being a very quiet and shy child to a very quiet adult - is that necessarily a problem? I'm happy the way I am. I've never wished I was more sociable - in fact, I find most social events a chore, and am far happiest with family or one or two friends. I never understood why people used to tell me I should have more of a social life. Why? Why does society place such importance on being "popular"? If Emily seemed lonely, that would be a different matter, but she seems perfectly happy with the couple of friends she has, and us.
We're inclined to just leave well alone for the moment, and give her more time for her confidence to grow and her self-esteem to mend in safe environments she's happy with. Of course it's too early to tell whether she's going to be a happy loner, lol, or whether as she grows more confident she will want to branch out more. So long as we keep offering social opportunities, I think it's right and proper to follow her lead in accepting or rejecting those opportunities. I think we can tell the difference between when Emily's genuinely happy as she is and doesn't WANT to join in with something, as opposed to when she would LIKE to join in but daren't. The first is fine, and I feel quite strongly that we'd be wrong to push her into something she really doesn't want. We'll learn to get better at handling the second situation on the rare occasions it seems to arise. Guess we're all still learning this stuff as a family.
6 comments:
Would love to meet up at some point - Myf is 6. We could help provide 'socialisation' without the 'club/group' scenario! Although my 3 are boisterous enough, at times, to negate any need of further company.
Besides, keep telling myself we must go to Normanby Hall sooner or later. :)
Quite agree about the socialisation thing. It is overrated. I think you're spot in in your last two paragraphs.
I sometimes wonder how I managed to end up with such a sociable child - Anna is the complete opposite - needs all the groups etc for the social stuff but doesn't really give a toss about the activities!
I don't know much about children of your dd's age, but for what it's worth I think you're doing the right thing being led by her. I'm sure if you provide opportunities for socialisation (like you say), having your own friends round who have children of a similar age etc., she'll let you know when she's ready to socialise with larger groups of children. I think my Rosie (2) may well end up being very similar to your dd.
Thank you for your comments and support :) Kris, that sounds like a lovely idea. Wouldn't reccommend Normanby Hall during the summer holidays though, but maybe in September? How do I find your email address?
I too agree socialisation is overated, I am naturally shy and Robert is in my opinion healthily cautious of people he doesn't know.
I was discussing this with my husband John and he agreed that over socialised kids could lose that inbuilt wariness that may protect them from dangerous situations and inapropriate social contact.
Robert is fine once he settles in with someone and looks to us for comfirmation that everythings ok when meeting new people.
It makes me wonder why there is such emphasis on popularity, only last week at the doctors our GP raised an eyebrow and said "is he always this shy?"
That's a good point about natural caution, Debs. I hate the way "shy" always has such negative connotations, as if there's something wrong with a child who's shy. I think I'll use the term "choosy" from now on instead!
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