Friday/Saturday Catchup

Time's been a somewhat precious commodity around here this last two days, but I'm grabbing ten minutes in between orders to do this.

Let's see. Friday. Emily wrote more scrolls and played on Catz. We also made some vegan jam buns in honour of Romy and Hazel, who came round to play all afternoon, which seemed to be fun. Emily and Jon started watching A Man For All Seasons, and Emily was entranced by the Time Team episode about Richmond Palace, which we managed to catch the tail end of. We've got the Time Team DVD which she did watch all the way through, but that was before Tudor Fascination struck; probably should dig it out again for a re-run.

Saturday - off to ballet in the morning. Emily's friend Maisie isn't going any more, and she was a little bit sad about that, but I was really pleased to see her making an effort to strike up a conversation with some of the other girls. When I left, she was sat in a circle comparing injuries (!) with two others. She's been going to that class for nearly a year now, and we still only know the names of about two other children there! I think Emily's social experiences at school (yeah, that thing that's school's supposed to be so important for ) are still affecting her nearly a year down the line - but we're getting there.

The thing is, thanks to what went on in that disgraceful institution, Emily learnt to be incredibly distrustful of both other children and other adults. That kind of thing doesn't disappear over night. The only good friend she did have at school very soon moved out of the area, leaving Emily lonely and quite isolated in the dreaded playground scenario. She tried to join in with the other children, but was usually bossed about to such an extent that she never had any say in what she was playing. When she reported to us that she was sick to death of being made to be (for instance) the dog again, when playing families, we suggested that she politely but firmly say it was her turn to be the Princess (or whatever). She tried, she was shouted down. So we suggested that in that case she politely but firmly state that she didn't want to play that game, and that she should suggest a different one.

She tried. That afternoon we were met with tears at the gate, again. She had tried. At which point the other little darlings had rushed to a dinner lady to complain that Emily "wouldn't play with us". The dinner lady had taken one look at our crying, downtrodden, shy and vulnerable child.....and laid into her for "not playing nicely". She was instructed to rejoin the group - and play nicely at being the dog. So - her faltering attempt at assertiveness had backfired, and the adult supposedly in charge had deliberately humiliated her. The adorable little bullies? All apples of their parents' (and teachers') eyes, I'm sure....and no doubt now exerting their particular form of twisted "friendship" over a different quiet child. I'm sorry if I sound bitter - but that would be because I am. Kids will be kids.....but we're taught that they need to go to school in order to learn to socialise. Is this the kind of "socialisation" they had in mind? Is this what adults in a "caring and supportive environment" do to a distressed child? How come our daughter started school full of enthusiasm and excitement....and left it a year later a shell of the person she was? And this school, I might add, has a glowing reputation. People move into this village specifically so they can send their kids there. Ye Gods.

I could (and probably will at various points, lol) bore for England with anecdotes of how marvellous (not) an experience that reception year was, and what damage we believe it did to Emily, but for the moment I'll stop before it upsets me again. Problem is, the more we remember and analyse what actually happened there, the worse and the more guilty we feel about it having gone on for so long. :-( There are days when I wish I had the guts to stand at the school entrance with a huge placard saying "Are your kids being damaged by this "excellent" school and its policies? It doesn't have to be that way - come and talk to me about home education". Ha. As if. On a more positive note, we're fairly certain that Emily's love of pretend is actually very therapeutic for her - these days she gets to be in control of all the role-playing.

Well, anyway, I digress - the point I was making was that re-building Emily's social confidence is a slow process. She's blossomed in one to one relationships with Romy and Maisie, but she's still very much intimidated in groups. Her making the first move in a conversation may seem trivial, but believe me, it's a big step. :-)

From ballet, we went to pick up Romy and Hazel for a trip to Scunthorpe museum, which had a mosaic making activity on as part of Children's Art Day. There was hardly anyone else there, and the girls had a lovely time making mosaic plant pots and wandering around the museum.

Back at home we've been watching bits of Live 8 inbetween working and playing. There's lots of laughter coming from the garden at the mo, so I daresay Emily and Daddy are up to something....